"Mallika I Hate You" is a love song?

The radio jockeys twitter about in Hindi, clearly excited about the upcoming track. It starts off with "traditional" sound (i.e., tricksy reedy noodling), then launches into canned techno that makes me want to stand under a disco ball, clad only in shiny spandex, and repeatedly nod my head to the left side, reminiscent of that crappy SNL sketch with Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell that was eventually turned into a movie.

Every so often, a woman's voice breaks in: "Just kidding, yaar! In your dreams!"

Then the singer launches nasally: "Mallika, I hate you I hate you...Mallika I hate you I hate you..." The voice drops an octave, the verbal embodiment of the men in Chandni Chowk who love to give my breasts a squeak when the crowds swell to overwhelming proportions, "but I wanna touch you, I wanna touch you."

Download as ring tone (incredibly annoying, mono) or head here for an MP3/wav/whatever. Click on the box to the left of the first track listing, then hit the button that says "Play selected." After a short ad, the song will play. And it's definitely worth it.

Basically, this whole song squicks me out (ummm, yeah -- is it really necessary to spew such vitriol about women and then say it's about loooooove?), but it is an interesting listen. If only it wasn't hitting the Hindi radio stations -- a favorite of MNC chauffeurs, played constantly and loud -- so hard during rush hour.

(P.S.: Mallika Sherawat is a Bollywood "star" most famed for her large breasts and ample hips; if you're American, you might have seen her for, like, five seconds in a recent Jackie Chan movie.)