I love the classifieds in India. Granted, they're equally egregious in alternative weeklies in the U.S., but the fact that huge national papers run these gems astounds me.
Under MASSSAGE PARLOURS (also, [sic] -- directly transcribing everything printed):
The World of my Angelz, Just landed on Earth. Heavenly beautiful masseurs. Real Delhiites. Feel the experience."
"Worldwide hi-class massage 7*/5* luxury? Only royal elite, b'ful Indian Russian masseurs. Call. Only decent personality."
"Male to Male can you waiting a complete body massager like Kashmiri boys satisfaction guranted."
"High-class massage service. Full range of world class beauty service R U looking something so different quick service any time just call me up."
"Delhi glamour high-profile model only 5 star. X-clusive masseur services decent soft spoken presentable. Hygienic reliable. Very charming. (Be careful from cheaters)"